Note: This is Part 5 in a 7-part introductory series on the foundational principles of StartingWell.net. You can find the previous posts here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
You may have heard the joke that “God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen twice as much as we speak.” While the truthfulness of that statement is debatable, God’s desire for us to be good listeners is not. After all, James 1:19 declares, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.”
If you’re like most of us, you may struggle with living out this verse. In fact, you may be more prone to be quick to speak and slow to listen.
Similarly, if you are a pastor, you may be tempted to begin your ministry in a new church with a preconceived plan for what needs to change and how you will lead the church to do so. You may be tempted to push forward with your plan with little or no input from others. If you do so, prepare for significant resistance and opposition.
However, if you want to start well in your pastoral role in your new church, you must take James’ admonition to heart. Listen well to the voices around you. Here are five voices you should listen to when beginning your ministry at a new church:
1. Listen to the Lord.
The first and most important voice to listen to is the still, small voice of the Lord. You need to spend significant time with the Lord in His Word and prayer and listen to what He says. Ask Him to give you a glimpse of His vision for the church. Ask Him to place individuals in your mind whom He is calling to serve in different roles. Ask Him for wisdom on how best to lead the church. Ask Him for discernment on the proper timing and manner for implementing change.
I know it should go without saying, but it will be impossible to lead the church to renewed spiritual health and vitality if you are spiritually dry yourself. You won’t be able to communicate God’s vision for the church unless you have spent time with Him to discern that vision. Therefore, take intentional steps to listen for His voice. Attempting to start well any other way is an exercise in futility.
2. Listen to other church leaders.
One of the best sounding boards you will have for the vision God reveals to you will be other godly leaders in the church. When you share some of the ideas you feel the Lord has placed in your heart, do so humbly. Listen to their questions, concerns, and feedback, and be willing to make adjustments based on their counsel.
These individuals have been members of the church much longer than you have, so their thoughts should never be ignored. There will be times when you take their advice and times when you don’t, but you should always listen humbly and compassionately.
3. Listen to other pastors.
Pastoring is not for the faint of heart. Your words are often misunderstood, your motives misrepresented, and your decisions second-guessed. You endure the pressures of being on call 24/7, and you sometimes have to stare into the teary eyes of one of your sons who is disappointed that a ministry emergency required Daddy to miss his baseball game.
It’s difficult to fully comprehend the challenges of the role if one has never served as a pastor. That’s why it’s critical that you allow some other pastors to encourage you and speak into your life and ministry on a regular basis.
They can help you discern God’s vision for your church. They can help you identify pitfalls and land mines to avoid. They can help you determine the best timing to implement change. They can encourage you when things don’t seem to improve as quickly as you would like. They can help you in these and hundreds of other ways. They will become some of your most trusted friends.
If you’re not listening to the voices of other pastors, let me encourage you to stop right now and identify at least one to invite to coffee. Don’t mind me; I’ll wait.
Even if you’ve been pastoring for decades, you need these brothers in your life. They can speak into your life, and you can speak into theirs.
Do you have one in mind? Good. Call or text him right now to schedule a meeting. Trust me, you won’t regret it!
4. Listen to the congregation.
As you begin serving as the church’s new pastor, you will start to implement changes. This topic will be covered in detail in future posts, but for now, recognize that you should start with minor changes. Doing so lets you see how the church will respond to your leadership before attempting more significant changes.
As you do so, listen to how they respond. Are they supportive? Do they have a lot of questions? Are they critical of even the slightest change? Are they talking to one another about it? Are they cheering you on?
Keep your ear to the ground and listen well as you seek to implement smaller changes during your first year or two. You will likely hear a preview of how they will respond to more significant changes later.
5. Listen to your spouse and family.
One final voice to listen to is the voice of your wife (if married) and children. Whenever you begin a ministry at a new church, you will have a full calendar for a while as you schedule meetings and get to know the church and community. However, if you are not careful, you can overextend yourself, and your wife and family usually get your leftovers.
I’ve heard the demands of ministry sometimes described as “the pastor’s mistress.” And sadly, there’s some truth in that description. That’s why it’s imperative that you listen to your wife and family. If you spend more time away from home than you should, they might not come out and say so. But if you listen carefully, you can pick up on it.
A few years ago, in a self-inflicted busy season of ministry, my oldest son asked me, “Dad, what meeting do you have tonight?” When I told him I didn’t have a meeting and would be home that evening, I could see the surprise on his face. He replied, “Really? That’s great. I just figured you had another meeting.”
He didn’t have to say another word. I heard the message loud and clear.
If you want to start well and maintain a sustainable pace of ministry, make sure that you listen to your spouse and family. They will let you know when to take your foot off the gas and spend more time at home.
Note: This is Part 5 in a 7-part introductory series on the foundational principles of StartingWell.net. You can find the previous posts here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels
