6 Practical Ways Pastors Can Love Their New Church Well

Note: This is Part 3 in a 7-part introductory series on the foundational principles of StartingWell.net. You can find the previous posts here: Part 1 | Part 2

When a pastor begins his ministry at a new church, he will quickly realize that he wants to change many things. Some will be minor preferences, while others may be critical to the church’s mission. He may be tempted to make some of those changes right away.

If you’re a pastor, you probably understand this tendency. If you have a type A personality with a passionate desire to be a high-achiever, you may think there’s no other way to lead! However, if you hit the ground running without first developing strong relationships and earning the trust of your congregation, you’ll likely run . . . right into a wall.

That’s why one of the keys to starting well at a church is loving well. Read on to discover six practical ways you can do so.

1. Schedule “get to know you” visits.

You need to get to know your congregation. If your only interaction with them is on church property, you will never truly get to know them beyond surface-level topics. That’s why it’s important to schedule some “get to know you” visits with every member of your church.

These visits can take on different forms. You can visit members in their homes, workplaces, or coffee shops – whichever location they prefer. The goal is to have an informal conversation to get to know them on a deeper level.

During these visits, come prepared to ask a lot of questions. Ask about their family. Ask about their occupation. Ask how long they have been a member of the church. Ask about how they came to know the Lord. Your goal should be to ask good questions and then just sit back and listen. After your visit, you may want to jot down a few notes for future reference.

Also, make sure the church member knows you are coming. This is a common courtesy and another way to show love to your congregation. If you have a ministry assistant, ask them to schedule one or two of these visits per week. If you don’t have a ministry assistant, enlist the help of someone else in the church to help you schedule these visits. But again, make sure the visits are scheduled in advance. Just as you’d prefer not to be blindsided by them in the future, show them the same courtesy by not showing up unannounced.

2. Make pastoral care visits.

You will also want to make pastoral care visits whenever appropriate. These include visits to members in the hospital or nursing home as well as homebound members. You should prioritize visits during challenging times in your members’ lives.

Don’t feel compelled to stay long or say a lot when you conduct these visits. The biggest ministry here is the ministry of presence. Just show up and love on your flock. These visits may not seem like the most productive part of your day, but they can pay big dividends in the future. The old saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” But, after they know how much you care, they will be much more receptive to your leadership in other areas.

3. Practice hospitality in your home.

Another way to show love to your flock is to invite them into your home. Share a meal together. Watch the big game on television or sit outside on the patio enjoying the evening sky. Allow them to observe how you treat your wife and kids. Let them see you are a regular human being with strengths and weaknesses, just like them. Let their kids or grandkids play with your kids or grandkids.

Depending on your family’s dynamics, you might do this once a week, once a month, or just a few times each year. However, do your best to practice hospitality on occasion. Welcoming your church members into your home is one of the best expressions of your love and care for them.

4. Preach the Word faithfully and thoughtfully.

You can also love well by faithfully preaching the Word with thoughtful and relevant application. As you get to know your congregation, you’ll begin to learn what’s going on in their lives. You’ll know whose faith has been rock solid amid a cancer battle. You’ll know that a marriage is hanging on by a thread. You’ll be sensitive to the fact that one or more church members are struggling with secret sin.

As you learn these details, you can make appropriate direct or indirect application to their situation. Obviously, you would never point them out specifically, but you will show your love by looking for specific ways to apply the truth of God’s Word to their lives.

5. Pray for your church members by name.

Secure a church directory and begin to pray systematically and consistently for your church members by name. Depending on the size of your church, this could take a few days to several weeks or months to complete. However, that’s not the goal. The goal is to build a habit of prayer for your church. After you finish the list, start over, and keep praying!

You may also want to start a prayer journal as you pray for your church members. Write down any specific prayer requests and the date any prayers are answered.

Feel free to let them know whenever you’ve prayed for them as well. Few things communicate your love for the flock more than faithful and consistent prayer for them.

6. Own up to your mistakes.

One final practical way to show love to your church is to admit your mistakes. Whenever you mess up, say so. When you’re wrong, humble yourself enough to acknowledge it. When you sin against a church member, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Doing these things communicates that you love and value your church family enough to acknowledge when you have done something to hurt them. Making this a regular practice will show how much you love your flock and will set an example for them to follow as well.

The Greatest of These is Love

As a pastor, you’ve likely read “The Love Chapter” (1 Corinthians 13) many times, especially during wedding ceremonies. You probably also know that when understood in its context, Paul is not talking about marriage but how we relate to one another in the church.

As he begins explaining the “more excellent way” to serve in the body of Christ, he writes, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing” (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

A modern paraphrase for pastors might sound like this: “If I prepare amazing sermons, but have not love, I am an out-of-tune piano. And if I communicate a compelling vision, develop a pithy mission statement, and implement new programs, but have not love, I am nothing. If I revise the Constitution & Bylaws, rearrange the order of worship, get rid of the hymnals, and change the small group curriculum, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

Brother Pastor, if you want to start well in your new church, you must love well. It will cover a multitude of your leadership missteps (1 Peter 4:8).

Note: This is Part 3 in a 7-part introductory series on the foundational principles of StartingWell.net. You can find the remaining posts here: Part 1 | Part 2

Photo by Emmanuel Phaeton on Unsplash